19.12.2016 - My experience with penpals from Ukraine
My experience with penpals from Ukraine
My first penpal from Ukraine was a girl from Ukraines capital Kiev. She was 19 years old, blonde, with a sporty body. She was a student, and came from an educated family. It was at the end of 1998 when we exchanged our first e-mails. Pretty long time ago.
Our friendship lasted around a year. We had deep conversations about any topic. She was also political and voted for the Nationalist party and was hanging around with Skinheads. Later she changed totally, moved to a more Western country, became Lesbian, and joined open border activists. That she told me in her last e-mail.
I suppose we exchanged messages when she was in the wildest years of her life. She loved to party so much. Dancing naked on the table and doing other crazy things. She was not afraid of alcohol. She also told me about her sexual adventures during her holidays in Montenegro. Men from Montenegro. She adored them. When I asked her if she does not care about her boyfriend in Kiev who stayed at home, she answered: "I am not a nun". This sentence is still in my head. I did not forget it. "I am not a nun". Of course she was not a nun. :-)
She was the only child of her parents. Her parents liked to comment the political news, and she told me what they said. I got a deep analysis of Bill Clinton, who was the US President in that time, and his wife. Just recently Bill Clintons wife wanted to become the US President, but failed. I had to remember the deep analysis from her parents when she was in the news all the time.
We exchanged e-mails almost every day, but after a year the e-mails became less and less. When she joined some NGO's she had no time anymore to write. I guess also the motivation got lost, because we talked about everything, every day, for a whole year, and there was nothing left to tell.
When I sent her an e-mail after 2 or 3 years, I got the answer that her life changed totally. She stopped partying and drinking alcohol, lives in the EU now, became Lesbian and is an active member of Lesbian organisation who fight for more rights of Lesbians, and also for open borders to Europe. When we exchanged e-mails on a daily basis she was rather the supporter of the traditional family model with mother, father and a child, and a supporter of closed borders. So this transformation was rather amazing.
In the following years I stayed a long time without a penpal from Ukraine. Only in the last years I got in contact again with some people from Ukraine.
The first one after a long time I found in the beginning of 2013. She was around 35 years old, and working as a translator in Kiev, but she originally was from Kharkiv. This penpal was very religious. And she liked to change religions. First from Orthodox to Protestant, and later to some other smaller religions. During in the revolution in her country she was in the first line on the Maidan square. She was part of it.
After the revolution she fell in love with a German man and moved to Germany for a while. It was already the second German man in her life, and her second move to Germany. But it seems she has no luck with German men. The first one had depressions and could not value her presence. He was also out of money and always had bad conscience he can not give her material things she deserves. So her first German relationship ended this way, although she really tried to fight for this man. At the end it was not possible, and she left the depressive German and moved back to Ukraine.
Her second German boyfriend had money. He was a successful entrepreneur. But he was already married with an Ukrainian woman, who left him with their common son. And she had the feeling she should count the cost of this broken relationship because she was also from Ukraine. He was quite nasty to her. So at the end, she had to pack her things again and go back to Ukraine, because she could not stand such behaviour anymore.
Now she lives on the outskirts of Kiev in a small flat, and is involved in a lot of projects, which guarantee her a proper income. She would like to find a man and have a baby, but she thinks that she only has bad luck in such things, so it seems she stopped dreaming about it.
But my contact to Ukrainian penpals was not just limited to women. I was also in contact with a man. He was around 40 years old and married with a half Ukrainian/half Russian woman in Donezk.
When the war broke out he had to leave his home city. He made it through the lines into the west of Ukraine, where he lived some months. Later he got the chance to leave Ukraine and move and settle down in a none European country.
On one side he was very frustrated about the development in his country, but on the other side he was glad that he finally got out of Donzek. He was never happy there. It was a bad place for him. Already before the war, he tried to move away, but could not find work somewhere else. So he stayed, because of his job. When the war started, he also lost his job, so there was nothing more to lose. Nothing more to stay for. So it was easier for him to move and start a new life somewhere far away.
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